CHAPMAN SPIRA AND CARSON LLC, MISSION STATEMENT
There are many terms in the financial industry that
confuse me no end. Terms such as market cap, and
“Mission Statement” are particularly galling. Not only
don’t I understand what they mean, but I have not yet
found anyone who does. In particular, it would seem that
the term “mission statement” which will be dealt with in
this memo, means some sort of effort that is going to be
undertaken that will achieve a particular result if a
series of unfortunate events can be avoided such as
bankruptcy, marketing problems, theft, production
problems and just about everything else that can be
conceived of. I am reminded of the “Mission Statement”
uttered by the crazed nut job in “man of La Mancha” in
which he received a message from above that it had
become his duty to attack any windmills in the
neighborhood and chop them into tiny pieces.
Unbelievably, he was able to captivate a few followers
that seem to believe that he had the right idea. What
harm these windmills were doing to the native population
was never made evident and it only proves that no matter
how flawed a “mission statement” may be, it is still a
“mission statement.” Most people that under psychiatric
care, have been able to weave extremely complex mission
statements and on occasion they are able to find others
just as delusional as themselves who become followers.
Hitler telegraphed his “Mission Statement” which was
contained in the book “Mien Kemp” in which he made clear
that if he was ever released from jail and could
eventually lead Germany, he would sanitize its entire
population of all Jews. Apparently at the time, the
majority of the German population felt that this
“mission statement” was meritorious and he was soon
leading the country on a undertaking far more intricate
than the mere assault on inanimate objects that spin
merrily in the wind and produce energy.
Throughout the years people have found reason to believe
in those that have well thought out “mission
statements”. What could have ever been a better plan
that that of James Warren Jones, an ordained Christian
Minister whose mission in life seemingly was to gather
together the homeless, the sick and the mentally
deranged, provide for them and then see to it that they
all died from a poison overdose in their Kool-aid.
Little did these blind followers know when he brought
them to Nirvana, (Jonestown, Guyana) a lush plantation
of almost 10 square miles where agriculture products
were cultivated and animals were raised that were
already doomed. Meanwhile Jones wrote his “Mission
Statement”” entitled, Translation, which spelled out
chapter and verse of what he was planning for his
followers. His plan clearly stated that his followers
would all die together and then would move to another
planet for a life of bliss. Making this an even stranger
scenario was the fact that mass suicides were regularly
practiced with the entire colony participating by
drinking Kool-aid and then pretending to have been
poisoned to death. However, eventually, Jones determined
that the time had come and In November of 1978, 900
people died from poison, gun shot wounds, lethal
injections and a host of other horrors. Jones had indeed
carried out his mission to the letter and never once
denied that this was his program. .
Over the years, Religious leaders have probably created
more chaos over their ill-throughout mission statements
than world leaders or anyone else for that matter. Of
all the ill-conceived “mission statements” ever devised
in the history of mankind, the Children’s Crusades
(there were two) of 1212 were the most dismal. Picture
the leader of this motley band of children, a 12-year
old shepherd, Stephen of Cloyes who could neither read
nor write. Cloyes somehow was given an audience with
King Philip of France and he told the King that Christ
had ordered him to organize the country’s children and
that Cloyes would led them in an attack on the Arabs to
bring back Jerusalem into the Christian fold. To King
Phillip’s credit, he essentially told the prepubescent
Cloyes to come back when he had grown up, but that
statement did not impede the lad one wit. This child
even produced a letter from Jesus stating that the
Mediterranean would part so that they didn’t even need
vessels to mount their attack. When the sea failed to
part, the children commandeered a number of boats and of
30,000 child soldiers that went to war, literally none
was ever heard from again. Interestingly enough, the
Vatican did not make one attempt to stop this lemming
like suicide march.
As luck would have it another lad of about the same age
living in Germany named Nicholas came up with the same
rotten idea simultaneously. Inconceivably, Nicholas was
able to attract 20,000 followers in much the same manner
as Cloyes. In this instance the disaster occurred
earlier rather than later as the youngsters first
determined to travel to Rome from Germany and get a
blessing from the Pope himself before they went into
battle. This in itself proved suicidal as there was
literally no way to get across the Alps and most of the
20,000 died in the snow covered mountains. The few that
made it to Rome were told by the Pope to grow up and
come back in 20 years. However, there was no way back
and the few that were left most probably perished when
they again were forced to retrace their steps through
the Alps.
Of all the people on earth that ever issued a “Mission
Statement”, the most calamitous was Joseph Stalin. He
became the the general secretary of the Soviet Communist
Party in 1922 and eventually triumphed over his
political rival, Leon Trotsky and took command of the
country. Stalin had a wildly heralded mission statement
which included a succession of what were called
five-year plans. The purpose of these five year plans
was to transform Russia from a third world country into
an industrial power. Stalin was not a great communicator
and the people never really bought into his project. His
collective farms were a catastrophe and millions of
people starved to death under the ill-conceived program.
Moreover, the pathetic theory of people sharing the
fruits of their labor failed miserably and the populace
found little or no incentive to produce anything other
than vodka from their rotten potatoes.
More electrifying was the fact that Stalin viewed
everyone as a potential executioner and shortly before
Russia entered World War II, Stalin executed the
majority of his generals fearing a coup d'état. When
Russia was attacked by Germany, their army was literally
leaderless and it was only the fierceness of the Russian
Winters that saved the day. Stalin eventually became
directly responsible for over 20 million deaths, most of
which could have easily been prevented.
Mission Statements are usually created by the foolhardy
that can’t wait to inform their competition exactly what
they are going to do and how they are going to do it.
Tipping off your competitors or potential competitors as
to your strategy makes about as much sense as a three
headed frog. We are aware of no truly rich person or
great world leader that was really willing to share
their strategies with potential competitors. Is it even
conceivable that Cornelius Vanderbilt would share his
plans for the New York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad
with his arch enemies, Fiske and Gould with whom he was
at war? Keep in mind the famous saying, “Money may be a
curse, but you can always find someone to take the curse
from you.” Or better yet, picture the U.S. Special
Forces going into battle behind enemy lines and telling
anyone who would be willing to listen what their plan of
attack is going to be. Mission Statements are for the
most part, a form of self-gratification where you tell
the world how great you are, how wonderful your staff
is, how marvelous your ideas are and how financially
successful you are going to be and yet you don’t a clue
as to how you are going to get from here to there.
Mission Statements are egocentric self aggrandizements
meant to irritate the reader and inflame the economists.
Technology is moving along at a frightening rapid pace
and before the ink is even dry on a “mission statement”,
the entire concept has been trashed by someone that
instead of standing around composing rancid prose about
how great they are going to do, actually went ahead and
did it. People with truly great ideas for the most part
do not share them with their competitors and if they do,
it becomes somewhat akin to economic suicide. Take for
example the odd couple of Thomas Edison and Nicholas
Tesla. Tesla had an IQ about 50 points higher than
Edison and from the point of view of physics and
chemistry, Edison was just a just a hack while Tesla was
world class inventor. However, Edison knew the score and
he also knew how to protect intellectual property even
if it belonged to someone else. He allowed Tesla to
believe that he was Tesla’s best friend and while
pretending to be helping him, stole literally everything
he invented and worse yet, took credit for all of it.
Tesla naturally died broke.
Thus, “mission statements” are self serving and suck as
meaningful documents. They are usually outdated the day
they are completed, they pander to what they believe
their readers would like to hear and they follow
outmoded outlines of what others have written before
them. I can not remember ever reading a “mission
statement” that didn’t create an urge in me to run to
the bathroom. Instead of pretty words, specific
references would be more in order. As an alternative of
stating what you are going to do, maybe; what you should
concentrate on what you have already accomplished and
what your thought process was. Instead of using a
mission statement that comes on a software program that
thousands have used before you, talk about the facts.
Discuss, why you idea will not become outmoded in the
next two weeks. Discuss how you are going to sell your
unique product and why on earth anyone would even be
interested in buying it. Chat about, how you are going
to protect your product from others, such as the filing
for patents, copyrights and trademarks. Don’t ever tell
us that your best friend said you didn’t need to protect
your product because no one would be able to reverse
engineer it and please don’t bring your wife or girl
friend into a serious meeting.
When you are discussing you plans, do not show any signs
of acute paranoia. If you are not willing to share your
concepts, don’t go to a meeting, you are only wasting
everyone’s time. If you can’t tell your investment
banker what you have, then he can’t raise you money and
no one wants to deal in this sort of zero minus game. We
just don’t have the time. Don’t make statements that you
can’t back up or where someone has sworn you to secrecy,
business is not a game of hop-scotch; it is economic war
and the loser can well wind up penniless. Secrecy ill
positioned is poison and once you get a reputation of
shopping a transaction without stating critical facts,
you are not going to invited back anywhere.
Remember that lawyers are usually poor business men and
although they are an important element in a business
transaction, don’t even think of asking them how to run
a company. If they could have done it with any sort of
aplomb , they would not be practicing law. Most
importantly, position credible people on your board of
directors. We believe that if reliable people are
willing to risk the litigation dangers of being board
members, it speaks volumes about both your integrity and
your product. More importantly, do yourself a favor and
stay away from making aunt Sadie your corporate
secretary, nepotism is a very poor sales tool and we
tend to avoid it like the plague. Hire the best person
available that has successfully operated a similar type
of company. Successful people do not have to prove
themselves over and over again. Once or twice is more
than enough. If they have done it right before, they can
do it right again.
We would remind our readers of the famous saying that
went something like this, “The man who uses yesterday’s
methods in today’s work won’t be in business tomorrow.”
To be there, think out of the box, no in it.
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